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099 - The Art of Gratitude - Letting Go of Expectation


The Art of Gratitude - Letting go of expectation

Hey Guys! Nicole Gabriel here! I’m the host of the Let’s Get Your Book Published podcast. I’m also the author multiple books, a Book Designer, and a Publishing Coach as well as an intuitive Business Coach.

I’ve been in the book business for awhile now and I’ve helped many clients get their book published. On this podcast I share personal stories, client stories, and the truths about the publishing industry.

I love what I do but I don’t like seeing people being taken advantage of or given false promises on the journey to publishing their book.

I do my best to keep things real here and that means the greatest gift I can give you is that I won’t falsely build you up with false promises and I help you align the content of your book so that it returns the greatest value personally and professionally.…this approach helps to build your platform. And, I align you with the business of writing a book.

Ultimately, I shoot to give you the truth about the publishing industry from a girl that’s been there and done that.

Today is a special day…why? Today is my 100th episode. When I began this podcast I could only hope I’d have the ability to keep it alive. Honestly, it’s a ton of work and it requires much more dedication to produce than I think many are aware of. But, it’s really become a part of my life now. I sit on my yoga mat every morning for a few hours, so why would anything else meaningful not require the same level of commitment?

Because of this special and momentous occasion, the focus of today’s show is gratitude. I’m so thankful for all of my listeners that hang in there with me from all over the globe. I know I get off topic on occasion…if you tuned in here only to learn how to write a book I guess you found the wrong podcast. Because I discuss the truth here I also ramble on about all the things that come up for me in the discovery of my own truth as well as the truths coming to the surface for my clients as we navigate through all things self-publishing and life. I find that it all relates because really there are some wonderful nuggets that make for great content and great books.

Although, sometimes the complications in life can make getting to gratitude a bit more challenging. We generally think of gratitude as all the things that are working well. Life doesn’t always work so well! But, this doesn’t mean we have to loose focus. There is always something to appreciate…sometimes we may just have to look a bit harder to find it. Even on the other side of massive dramas and traumas there are gifts that have been learned that one can be grateful for. In fact, these tough lessons tend to be the topics that come up in many of my authors books. We usually have to come through something to share what we’ve learned. Generally by the time you’ve begun writing about it you’ve either healed on some level or reached a plateau where you can claim some level of authority or share wisdom. It’s pretty common an author is writing to share what they’ve learned and it’s also pretty common it’s a massive growth opportunity that happened the other side of something that wasn’t so pleasant to come through. And the more ridiculous it is it seems the better the story authors have to tell. As a publishing coach I hear so many amazing stories that it’s almost almost the norm. Each time I get a call from a new client I think “OK, so how wild is this story going to be?” as they begin to tell me about their book. I don’t mean this callously either, my clients really do amaze me! I have an appreciation for what people come through and I think this is almost a higher vibration than gratitude. There are great lessons of the enjoyment of good that come on the other side of appreciation. Either you learn how lucky you are or you learn to appreciate what the human spirit is capable of navigating. Either way, you grow and expand.

What is fascinating is how people can sit within chaos and how they find a vibration of gratitude or appreciation. There is a unique moment when one can step outside of the story and move above it and see the greater picture. I personally like to step up and outside of my role and watch all the parties in the play navigating their roles. This gives me a greater perspective. I can then ask what is my role and how can I shift the outcome? I think this takes practice. Something in you has to have a certain level of experience in dramas and traumas to know that you have this option. There are certain levels of mastery that an author must achieve in order to step up and out of the timeline and navigate into a conceptual victory. Watching someone elevate beyond an incident or experience… that they might have otherwise crumbled from… lifts the human spirit. We are truly amazing beings to overcome or triumph over such levels of pain, indifference, and tragedy. It takes stamina and grit to move from levels of discomfort and pain into gratitude for the experience.

I can tell you that many things in my life have not been easy. But, there is a point when you move past expecting more challenge….past the wondering of if you can accomplish overcoming it…. and into knowing that a new challenge will always come…. and shifting into maintaining a positive mindset for overcoming it as you move through it.

I can’t remember where I saw this but awhile back I wrote it down. I’ll call it…

3 Steps to Living a Happier Life:

  1. Accept it just the way it is right now (it is what it is = be at peace)
  2. Trust that your soul is out in front of you guiding you. You have a role and a purpose. Nothing can keep you from that. You are on the right path. Trust in the divine plan. A higher power is aware of you. Allow yourself to have an instant manifestation of a new way.
  3. Allow it to unfold. Get into the flow. Allow miracles. Instant manifestations will be joy-filled. Go do that thing that will bring you joy. Live in the alignment of who you are. There is so much more possible for you.

One of the greatest gifts I’ve learned to bring more gratitude into my life is the idea of letting go of the expectation that something should go differently. To me this is not living in faith…I’m basically saying “I don’t trust you God…it should go my way not your way!” every time I step into my ego and how I feel I can manipulate an outcome. I’ve learned its easier to be in gratitude when I can let life unfold harmoniously.

I’ve also learned that shame is a very heavy emotion. Again, this is where the ego steps in and says that I should feel sorry or bad for my behavior or something didn’t go as I expected it to. Shame can render you hopeless and remove your innocence. We came here to learn and grow and letting go of all of this allows far more room for positive manifestations and gratitude. When you are trying to play god and manipulate a situation, or fall victim to resentment, or other heavy energies you are not allowing yourself to give in to faith and the door that can open to forgiveness. You may need to forgive yourself or another, but faith in a divine plan and trusting the creator perfectly aligned you takes the responsibility and weight off of your shoulders and back to innocence. It’s not that it wipes out personal responsibility but it does let life unfold more harmoniously. We can gratefully take our little nuggets of knowledge and say thank you god for teaching me this and move into making shifts in behavior in the future.

As we age we learn how to handle ourselves and the issues we face with more grace. I think we also learn that we cannot and should not try to control others. We have to allow another soul the consciousness of their choices. If our wounds or tragedies come from the interaction from another we are not entirely responsible. There is the consciousness of another person and a divine plan and we have to let go of whatever blame we place upon ourselves to try and fix a broken world. We can’t hold that responsibility to do that all alone - that’s heavy! The best we can do is lead by example. And we can’t get wrapped up in the heaviness of others actions, especially if we intend to make no effort for self growth. It’s easy to sit in judgement of others when in reality we should be finding these idiosyncratic quirks within our own actions and being and correcting them there. We have to take responsibility for ourselves and do the work with a certain level of commitment in order to be able to look back in gratitude for a certain level of awareness or achievement we’ve grown into because of our continued effort.

When we have dramas and traumas and tragedies that we move through we open up more compassionately toward others that are struggling. We become more full as we realize a greater level of our own self love and, as we do that, greater and deeper levels of self love are projected back. No one else is going to fix us or save us and we can’t get lost in another to do the work that we must do for ourselves. We are always expanding and when we allow others the ability to expand by holding space for their growth we eliminate the bondage of control and give them the ability to master self. Potentially, this kind of conscious love would allow one to more easily move into higher vibrations.

Perhaps you’ve seen the kind of relationship where someone has expected you to impose limitations upon them, and when you don’t, they take it as you don’t care. They perform better under control because they’ve never known something different. Expectations of behavior can be challenging. If someone is expecting to get something from you they are simply not grateful for your presence. Yet, what they expect may not necessarily be deemed as healthy. Relationships formed with a conscious awareness would understand the foundation differently.

Love cannot be limited and fit into a box. Most of the time I’ve found people love in the moment. There is an immediate need they are looking to fulfill. I suppose if this is what both partners want then it works out fine. But, overall, I find all misunderstandings come around a lack of communication. For some reason people like to play games with each other…if you serve me for the moment you can stay in my life. If you serve me in the future you can stay in my life. When you are done serving me then I will move on. Authentic relationships seem to be hard to come by these days. Everyone is in a hurry and has someplace more meaningful to be. We’ve lost our ability to dream and create. We are just looking for people to plug in and serve for now. We aren’t very good at being conscious creators. There is so much limitation imposed of self that we seem to either be angry at what we’ve manifested or ungrateful that it doesn’t look like we expect it to.

The challenges some relationships bring can cause a variety of levels of resentment mostly because the lessons we learn from them are hard. In a place of faith and gratitude we can take the relationship for what its worth for the souls growth…for the moment and into the future. Our time here on this planet is short and how we consciously create in that limited time is a personal choice. It doesn’t seem that we are aware of this until we’ve come out the other end of tragedy or challenge. When we wake up to this we can clearly see that even in the most challenging times there are gifts. Honestly, this is where I believe the greatest gifts live.

I’ve come out the other side of some massive challenges over the last couple of decades. When you survive death you wake up to life. You find that there are little things you are grateful for that you weren’t previously. You learn to honor what brings you joy and let go what no longer does. The other side of great challenges taught me that I really do love what I do for a living. I really do love so much of my lifestyle. I really do love what I’ve created and I’m more aware of how I manifest…both good and bad things in my life. I am more aware what and who comes to teach me and more aware of what aligns with my vibration and truth. I’m more thankful for the hard lessons and big shifts and changes. I love the awareness I have created in my life and I’m proud of the choices I’ve made.

The reflections of this podcast are just a short snippet of the gifts I have found in letting go of expectation and allow in more gratitude to my life. Not many things have gone as I’ve expected them to but I’ve moved into living with more faith. I keep getting up and showing up and as long as I don’t give up I know that I’m still working according to the creators plan. How about you? Where can you allow more gratitude into your life and how can you let go of the expectations you had for it to go differently?

It’s a beautiful 80 degree Sunday here in Michigan. The pups and I are still here visiting and awaiting on the repairs on our super bus. Yep, we thought this would all go differently, but here we are still grounded. A new window, a small paint job, and some other miscellaneous repairs. So is life. With all that being said…As always, I’m wishing you peace, love, and light!

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